Battling in court brings out the worst in people. Mediation, when done properly, brings out the best in people. Yes, this is true, even when they are at their worst, as many people are when facing a divorce. During divorce or separation, families need someone who can help them focus on the big picture and put their best foot forward, not someone who will encourage them to nurture negativity and fight over petty things.
A good mediator helps people put their best foot forward even when they are mired in conflict. A good litigator, on the other hand, uses a strategy to win in court, gathering ammunition to make the other side lose. This is how the adversarial court process works. But how does this benefit the family? Is it worth spending $100,000 or more to prove someone was a bad spouse or parent?
When a couple divorces, there is a difficult transition period for that family. What a family needs during this transition is an advocate for a better future for everyone. They need a guide to help them get through the painful transition, leaving important relationships intact, or better yet, improving them. It is even possible to embrace the transition with help from a trained mediator. A good mediator can help the parties find opportunities for positive change, while searching for solutions to recurring discord.
Be a party to the solution, not a party to the problem. Mediate.